jebiwonkenobi: When I was little I thought being an adult meant not having a bed time but I’ve come to realize that it just means being in charge of my own bed time and it turns out that I am not equipped to handle that responsibility.
graceebooks: men at large feel like they are being robbed of something when an attractive woman with a 90% chance of developing breast cancer gets a double mastectomy what better illustration of the male sense of sexual entitlement do you need
Parents: Don't forget to make us proud
Friends: Don't forget to socialize
Teachers: Don't forget to get A's
Strangers: Don't forget to blend in
Opposite sex: Don't forget to look good
Society: Don't forget to be perfect
Tumblr: Fuck the world, they're peasants. At least you haven't murdered somebody today
Tumblr: But just in case you want to get away with it, here are some tips.
andysambergg: i have so much homework what movie should i watch
If Jon Snow and Ron Weasley ever met
Jon: Red hair, and a hand-me-down robe? You must be a Weasley.
Ron: You must be Ned Stark’s bastard.
Game of Thrones Sex Tip 40
agameofsextips: Realize your friend is a girl. Develop crush. Begin working out shirtless. Then, instead of staying with her, tell her you’re going to join a group of weirdly religious, unwashed men.
Date yourself. Take yourself out to eat. Don’t share your popcorn at the movies...– (via crashingtothesurface)
I’m afraid I’ll be a book that no one reads. Music that no one listens to...– Tablo (via thenocturnals)
brolininthetardis: sometimes this site makes me forget what bendywick candlebatch’s real name even is and then i remember that you don’t need to know butterburger custardsnack’s real name for people to know you’re talking about bennyjet crumplebunch
ponchopeligroso: every single person you know has something in their life and past that is probably worth collapsing to the ground in an uncontrollably sobbing heap over, so be nice to each other and tell good jokes
january 2013: this shall be my year may 2013: well, shit
neonblogfreak: pop-lock-and-dropthepj: I love that if you look up something on google you usually get really generic photos But if you add “tumblr” to your search you get really beautiful, artistic pictures
christoph-waltzed: I remember in year 2 there was a girl who had literally never had a haircut so her hair was ridiculously long [imagine Rapunzel basically] and she always complained about it but her mum wouldn’t let her get it cut So one day at recess she put an entire pack of chewed gum in her hair at the exact length she wanted it cut to. She came in the next day with her hair cut how she...
mewtoot: i think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anybody else to feel like that
kfcofficial: im not even a 2nd choice im like an 8th choice sometimes a 10th
Things that need to be more affordable: -plane tickets -whole, natural foods -gas -workout clothing -phone bills -University (education) tuition Things that need to be more expensive: -processed foods that are causing the obesity rate to skyrocket -cigarettes -alcohol
hobbitsandlocks: fernstream: selenium-: sane-as-a-starkid: the-companions-doctor: probend: happylouistomlinsonbirthday: probend: dear santa i want a 6’3 boyfriend with brown hair and blue eyes #do u mean augustus waters no i want my boyfriend to be alive That wasn’t even close to okay okay okay you didn’t
princeowl: when kids complain about school or joke about dropping out im pretty sure theyre not saying that they dont want an education theyre saying that the school system is flawed and horrible and makes them feel shitty about themselves and doesnt provide a good environment for learning
braydaaan: Do you ever go on YouTube thinking you’ll just be on to watch a quick music video then later you find yourself watching a tutorial on how to walk a giraffe.
spanish and italian: So THESE words are feminine and THESE words are masculine, and you ALWAYS put an adjective AFTER the noun.
french: haha i dont fuckin know man just do whatever
german: LET'S ADD A NEUTRAL NOUN HAHA
english: *shooting up in the bathroom*
gaelic: the pronounciation changes depending on the gender and what letter the word starts and ends with and hahah i dont even know good fucking luck
polish: here have all of these consonants have fun
japanese: subject article noun article verb. too bad there's three fucking alphabets lmao hope your first language isn't western
welsh: sneeze, and chances are you've got it right. idfk
chinese: here's a picture. draw it. it means something. it can be pronounced three different ways. these twenty other pictures are pronounced the same but have very different meanings. godspeed.
Arabic: so here's this one word. it actually translates to three words. also pronouns don't really exist. the gender is all in the verb. have fun!
Latin: here memorize 500 charts and then you still dont know what the fuck is happening
ticklemeblainers: sexwithsquidward: “Same sex couples shouldn’t be able to adopt because their kids will get bullied for having two moms or two dads” hey instead of not allowing same sex couples to adopt maybe you should teach your little shitty kids not to bully
truepac: DO YOU GUYS HAVE THAT ONE FRIEND THAT DOESN’T THINK SHE’S ANYTHING SPECIAL BUT SHE’S BEAUTIFUL AND FUNNY AND WITTY AND EVERYTHING AMAZING THAT YOU COULD EVER WANT IN A PERSON BUT SHE DOESN’T SEE IT AND YOU JUST WANNA TAKE HER AND SHAKE HER AND SCREAM IN HER FACE ALL OF THE AMAZING THINGS ABOUT HER JUST SO SHE WILL APPRECIATE HOW ABSOLUTELY LOVELY SHE IS
senpai-has-noticed-you: sometimes i think i’m arrogant but then i remember that julius caesar was kidnapped by cicilian pirates and when they demanded a ransom of 620 kgs of silver he got mad because he thought he was worth more than that and made them raise it to 1550 kg
attractive friend: ugh im so ugly
me: well what the fuck does that make me then
youcantcancelquidditch: apparently you can’t be employed by the CIA if you’ve ever illegally downloaded music breaking news: in 20 years, the CIA will operate out of the president’s basement, staffed by four old men and six guinea pigs